


Another Agatha

by nancynotruth



Series: Another Agatha [1]
Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz just wants to be happy with his boyfriend, Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Established Snowbaz, Girls won't leave Baz alone, M/M, One Shot, Protective!Simon, after Watford, college students Baz and Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 09:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nancynotruth/pseuds/nancynotruth
Summary: Susanna Connory is smart, talented, and (by her own estimation) stunningly beautiful. The boys follow her around like a line of trained dogs. Why, then, can't she get the new student Tyrannus to join her train of admirers when she's trying so hard? And why will he only hang out with that weird boy, Simon?





	Another Agatha

There was a new student at Oxford Uni. He had pitch black hair and a stark widow’s peak. His face was almost constantly twisted into a sneer, and he was the poster child of the Sarcastic Comment Loading t-shirts even though he would never, ever wear one. Far too unsophisticated. 

Susannah Connoroy, the stunningly beautiful (by her own opinion) sophomore, was set on him like a mosquito on blood. It wasn’t just that he was absolutely perfect and beautiful and so very muscular, it was that he didn’t seem to care about her at all. She was used to having all of the boys (and some girls)(ugh) that she graced with her brilliant smile clustering around her like moths to a flame, and it was not uncommon to see Susannah walking down the hallway while a line of men trailing behind her like trained dogs, carrying her books and purses and buying her snacks out of the vending machines whenever she looked even slightly hungry. But no matter how hard she tried, Tyrannus just wouldn’t fall for the bait. 

Every time he passed by her and her line of admirers, Susannah made sure to flip her hair and talk in the high, peppy, I’m interested voice. She even tried the old bend and snap, which made her boys even more uncontrollable. They were all techniques that had never failed her in her romantic pursuits, but somehow Ty just seemed to be immune. He would hardly even give Susannah the time of day, even when she twirled her blonde locks around her finger and giggled that she’d forgotten her phone at her boyfriend’s house when she stayed overnight (that usually drove them into a jealous rage). She just didn’t understand it. What didn’t she have? Double Ds, a flat stomach, brains, great legs, naturally (well, almost naturally) blonde hair. 

Tyrannus was quite a loner, from what she could see. He spent most of his time reading or with that weird kid, Simon. Unlike Ty, he was nothing special. He had messy curly hair, which Susannah sometimes found attractive, but Simon just looked like someone had dropped a pile of wool on his head and he hadn’t done anything about it. He also had had moles scattered in ugly blotches all over his body, and his eyes were the most uninteresting color of blue she’d ever seen. 

Apart from being ugly, Simon remarkably clumsy, knocking into everything even if it was nowhere near him. She’d once seen him apologize for knocking into a vase of flowers almost three feet behind his back. And his pants never seemed to fit right. He was also terrible at public speaking, stuttering through his entire speech about the perils of soccer in their debate class. But whenever she looked at Ty, he was always staring at Simon with a softness around his alluringly sharp features that she never saw when he looked at her. 

Even though they looked nothing alike, she knew that they must be related. Nobody but family could bring out that strain of protectiveness that she’d seen when Ty almost hit her for commenting on Simon’s disgusting eating habits. Seriously, she had to use that chair after he was finished and she didn’t want scone crumbs and butter all over her custom made silk skirt. Perhaps they were cousins? No, she thought as she saw Ty wipe a crumb off of Simon’s shoulder, they were closer than that. Maybe they were brothers, or half brothers, or one of them was adopted. Yes, that was the only solution. How clever she was to have figured it out!

Susannah tried to show Ty that she was a more interesting person than his brother, but it wasn’t working. Whenever she engaged him in conversation, he always weaseled out of it. In a rage, she followed him to his lunch table where he was sitting with Simon, ready to tell him just what he was missing and give him one last chance with her. She hung back, however, when she saw that they were talking. Maybe she could see what Ty liked to talk about, and then she could bring that up in conversation. 

“Just like Wellbelove,” Ty was saying. “Am I really that attractive? They can’t keep their eyes off of me. It’s fucking annoying.” He was cursing! How lewd. At least he noticed that she was after him, though. She still had a chance. 

“You bloody well aren’t,” Simon grumbled, pieces of scone spraying around as he talked. “I don’t know what they see in you.” 

“Of course not,” Ty sneered. “That must be why, last night, you…” Simon slapped him on the arm, but Susannah noted that his hand stayed on the other boy’s bicep much longer than necessary, seeming to be giving it some sort of massage. They must be very close, if they still slept in the same room. Maybe Simon had been playing loud music and kept Ty up, but what did that have to do with Ty’s amazing attractiveness? 

“Keep this conversation school appropriate, Baz.” He chided. 

“Of course, Snow. School. That’s why I didn’t snog the hell out of you when we were back at Watford.”

Ew! Ew ew ew ew. This was so gross. She guessed they weren’t brothers after all. Or maybe they were, that was even worse! Oh, that was disgusting. She had no idea that such sinful relationships were going on in her own school. Two boys, for god’s sake. 

“No, it was because you were too busy killing rodents and trying to kill me.” 

Killing rodents? Was he an exterminator? To think she’d ever liked this guy! 

Baz waved his hand, brushing off the statement. “Technicalities.” 

Susannah had enough of them staring into each other’s eyes like lovesick puppies. She got up from her table and stormed over to Tyrannus and Simon’s table, slamming her hands down on it to force them to look up at her. “How dare you let me chase you around like a lap dog, Tyrannus?” She would have gone on, but Simon interrupted her. 

“Don’t call him Tyrannus,” he said, his jaw set in a straight line and his blue eyes hardened like steel. “His name is Baz. Also, I don’t remember him ever encouraging you.” 

“The whole time, you were just both laughing at me. You’re disgusting. Horrible. Yucky…”

“Susannah. I love him.” Ty had stood up and leaned forward, getting in her personal space in not at all the way she had wanted. “I waited six years to be with him, and now that I’ve got him I’m not letting him go to bed some floozy. Besides, I’m gay. I don’t know what he is, but we’re together. And all I want is for everyone to know.” 

He leaned over ostentatiously and kissed Simon, right on the lips. It was too much for Susannah. They were trading saliva and everything. It was the grossest think she’d ever seen, and she’d seen the episode of that horrid tv show where the man ripped off his skin all the time. She turned around at walked away, snapping at her followers to leave their lunch and run after her. She needed some comfort from real men. 

“It’s ok, Baz. You’ve got me,” said Simon, staring after her with his angriest expression, his sword hand twitching at his hip to call a weapon that would no longer come. 

Baz stared at him, seeing all the love held in his furious expression. He leaned down and kissed his favorite mole, right behind Simon’s right ear. 

“And that’s all I want.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write this last year for a writing class (yes, the actual assignment was to write fanfiction!), and I found it today and thought it would be fun to publish. I certainly hope you enjoyed it! Please leave comments or kudos if you're moved to, this is my first fanfic and I'd love to hear your reactions. Thanks!


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